Fake Lies | Of Fests & Fantasies

Rohan Parikh (Junior Correspondent at Free Press Pvt. Ltd.)

Fake Lies is a satire series about Ashokan life and culture (or lack thereof).

It is late February and lovelorn Hoshak University is eagerly awaiting the second edition of its beloved annual fest- Ranjaana. Conceptualised two years ago as a solution to the ‘stagnation crisis’ that has engulfed the campus, the fest is expected to help retain a sense of normalcy in the student body.

Two years since the inception of Hoshak University, the Administration noticed an increasing difficulty for the students to remain satiated with life on campus. The extravagant facilities, the vast range of food options and even the fluid residence access policy seemed inadequate, for students sought the ultimate freedom — the kind one finds only on the other side of the electric fences.

A staff member of the Administration put it succinctly, “Ever since its inception, Hoshak has been painfully aware of its seclusion from the real world. Everything stagnates, and predictably. Everything ‘is the same’ here — the buildings, the trees, the people, the conversations, even the form and content of outrage. You can definitely have too much of this place.”

This stagnation gave birth to several problems. Chief among them was the erratic attendance for lectures, reluctance to stay for the ‘fourth year’ (the Almost Settled Programme, ASP), haphazard graffiti on walls and perhaps most notoriously, the birth of two local distilleries (allegedly run by twins) situated right outside campus.

The administration even received an anonymous note from an English Major who was evidently fond of Yeats. It simply said, “Students are falling apart; the Administration cannot hold.”

After long deliberation, a solution was devised, one which would effectively burst the bubble without actually having the students leave campus.

Put simply, Ranjaana is one big metaphor. The fest secretary explained the driving idea behind the fest. “It’s obvious; Hoshakans are adventurers by heart. They want to be free. And what better way to realise that freedom when you’re stuck in a tiny campus than to organise an entire fest that conjures the illusion of travel?”

Genius.

On a twenty — five acre campus, Ranjaana’s Organising Group (OG) marks out ‘zones’ — various spots around the Frisbee field that students can travel to in order to experience different foods, games, and people — giving the campus a whole new feel where students can ‘discover passion and explore purpose’ — as the Hoshakan motto spells out.

The implications of this are far-reaching. On the first count, the Administration believes Ranjaana can help minimise the problem of the ‘weekend dissidents’. These are the people who leave campus on the weekends, causing those who stay behind to feel exceptionally trapped. The OG, if successful in creating a strong and lasting metaphor, could persuade the weekend dissidents not to leave, since, after all, ‘travel is right here’.

Secondly, Ranjaana is expected to be a great outreach endeavour. “The indicator,” says an OG member, “of the success of the fest will be the number of applicants from other universities who apply for admission here, convinced that the ‘real world’ is not in the grimy streets outside, but right here, in Hoshak.”

The ‘outsiders’, in fact, will only fuel the illusion, since Hoshakans will not only see new faces on campus, they will do so as they travel. The possibilities of chance encounters, a concept almost alien despite the size of the campus, will be rekindled.

The coming weekend is expected to be one of fun, frolic, and adventure. Hoshakans will realise that lives of people of the outside world and their Instagram feeds (unlike the average Hoshakan’s), are not necessarily consistent. This is expected to create a sense of ‘authenticity’ among the students, as opposed to the ‘fake-ness’ of the outside world and its people.

In sum: the Hoshakan spirit will soar.

Every fest deserves a good run-up to the event. Anticipation and excitement is largely a product of good marketing. The organisers of this fest know this all too well. This season, they managed to create an air of great mystery around it to garner curiosity. So much so that up until two weeks ago everyone was left wondering if the fest was even happening?

The OG, however, has promised us that it is. Several students have ‘begun packing their backpacks’ in eager anticipation of the fest. They look forward to taking a trip down memory lane and rediscovering the campus. Evidently, the metaphor is a success.

An excited first-year undergraduate excitedly told us about her excitement about the fest. “Like, everyone said it was great last year. Apparently, it was like a private party. Very few outsiders. But, like, they say this year will be different. I don’t mind much, I guess. I could get used to having a bunch of people on campus. I’ll know what it’ll be like when the new batch comes in. God, I can’t even imagine…”

The undersecretary of the fest revealed her hopes for the successful execution of the fest.

“As of now, Ranjaana is our one hope to maintain peace of mind on campus. Such adventure — crazed behaviour, if not channelled properly, can be disastrous. It’s alright if Hoshakans think outside the box and whatever, but they must eventually learn to be content with the box they’re living in.”

The Free Press hopes Ranjaana proves to be the force that settles the matter once and for all.

Rohan Parikh is a humble creation of society and its many conventions. He has followed norms ardently and to the best of his abilities- so much so that sometimes the banality of the world feels all too real. He can’t help but laugh; He wants others to get in on the joke.